Updates...

Well, I have some good news and some bad news (which shall I give first?).

Two peices of bad news: First, Tennessee is officially gone. :( He escaped out the front door last week (likely while I was trying to unload all my cumbersome music gear out of the car), and has not been seen since. :( I've put food out there and called for him a thousand times, and though the food disappears gradually, there has been no sign of the orange monster and I am beginning to fear I'm feeding the ubiquitous racoons that roam our neighborhood. :(

At first I was heartbroken over Tennessee's disappearance. Now I have had time to rationalize and weave a narrative about how he wasn't happy in captivity and just wanted to be free. You can't tame what's wild at heart, I guess, and I am a foolish human for trying to do so. Still, I'm sad (and also frustrated at the $100 I spent on him, when I have no money for such things really.) I try not to think about the fact that he's also now out there possibly getting into fights with other cats and spreading FIV. :( ugh! I feel like all my efforts were for not!

I talked to one friend about his strange behavior (always hiding under the couch and quick breathing), and she wondered whether he was getting ready to die. "Don't say that!" I jumped. But now I wonder whether she was right?-- you know the way animals like to roam off to die? I just find it very strange that I wouldn't have even seen him around the neighborhood since his disappearance. I wonder what on earth happened to him.

Secondly, my own health is not good. I either have Lyme disease or some kind of bad infection. :( The Lyme disease suspect comes from the strange rash I've had on my stomach for some time now, which has grown. I went to the ER Saturday because I felt so awful (severe headache, feeling of having arthritis all over my body, very lethargic, and fever... with no respiratory or stomach symptoms or anything). The doc there looked at my rash and got other doc's opinions and they thought it might be Lyme disease, asked if I'd been in the woods lately (well of course I had). So she started me on some hard-core antibiotics.

Monday I went to the student health center to get my blood drawn for a test. The doc there seemed less sure if it was Lyme disease, said it could also be: 1) a deep sinus infection (I have no respiratory symptoms, but apparently the sinuses in my head could be affected?) or 2) an infection from the mystery bite on my stomach and/or from scratching it. It will take 2 days to get the test results back. In the meantime, I am whiney and pathetic and have no energy for anything. I feel terrible.

But enough whining! There is also good news to share: As some of you know, last week I "came out" to my family, which entailed writing letters to my mother and grandparents, emailing my brother, and previous to that I had called my father on the phone. My dad took the news as expected-- little reaction (which in this case is what I wanted). He quickly started asking his usual quesitons of "where is she from?" and "what road will you take to get there?" :) As for my mother and brother (the two I worry most about), I have not heard word... not sure if the mail hasn't arrived in rural Georgia yet, or if she's pretending she didn't get the news. But I cannot worry myself with "what ifs"... must only wait to see what the future brings.

In the meantime, my grandmother responded with a letter in kind, which shared with me her thoughts-- the best possible reaction (which I had hoped for, knowing how awesome she is, but still had not taken for granted). She said she was very happy for me, sent her love to Aud, and was just perfectly supportive in all ways. I am so blessed to have grandparents like this! There really aren't a whole lot of ocotagenarians in the world who would handle such news with this amount of grace. I am so lucky!

We'll see what happens with my mother and my 21-year old brother.